The Confidence Boosters She Uses When She’s Feeling Low

Even the most grounded, self-aware women have days when they feel a little smaller, a little unsure of themselves. Maybe it’s after a hard conversation. Maybe it’s scrolling through social media. Or maybe it’s just one of those quiet mornings when your sparkle seems buried under a cloud of self-doubt.

For Alina Brooks, a 41-year-old author, mentor, and mother of three, low-confidence days used to feel like emotional quicksand—something she had to fight her way out of, alone and exhausted. But after years of inner work, trial and error, and learning to trust herself, she’s built a simple but powerful toolbox: a set of confidence boosters she reaches for when her self-esteem dips.

“These aren’t magic fixes,” she explains. “They’re gentle nudges that help me reconnect with the version of me that already exists—the one who knows her worth, even when she forgets.”

In this article, Alina shares the exact strategies she uses to lift herself when she’s feeling low—and how you can borrow them, tweak them, and make them your own.

1. She Has a “Confidence File” (and You Can, Too)

The first thing Alina reaches for when doubt creeps in isn’t makeup or motivation—it’s proof.

“I keep a folder—digital and physical—of kind words people have shared with me over the years,” she says. “Emails from readers, notes from friends, feedback from clients, even screenshots of encouraging DMs.”

This “confidence file” isn’t about ego. It’s about remembrance.

“When I’m spiraling, it’s easy to forget who I’ve been to others—how I’ve shown up, impacted people, made a difference. Reading those reminders brings me back to myself.”

She recommends everyone create one. Call it your praise folder, self-worth album, or even You at Your Best. Fill it with:

Compliments that felt sincere
Accomplishments you're proud of
Times you showed courage or kindness
Pictures where you felt powerful

“It’s not vanity,” Alina says. “It’s medicine.”

2. She Dresses the Way Her Future Self Would

There’s a difference between dressing up and dressing with intention.

“When I’m feeling insecure, I ask: What would my future self—the one who’s fully confident and unshakable—wear today?”

Sometimes it’s bold lipstick. Sometimes it’s a tailored jacket. Sometimes it’s soft loungewear with elegant earrings.

“The point isn’t to fake it—it’s to align with her,” Alina explains. “When I dress like her, I start to feel like her.”

Clothing becomes a bridge—not a mask—between who she is and who she’s becoming.

3. She Moves—Not to “Fix” Her Body, But to Feel It

Alina is not a fitness junkie, and she openly resists using exercise as a way to “earn” confidence through weight loss or punishment. Instead, she treats movement as an emotional reset.

“When I’m in my head, I get back into my body,” she says. “Whether it’s dancing in my kitchen, going for a walk, or stretching on the floor—it changes everything.”

She especially loves music-fueled movement: “I’ll put on a playlist called ‘Boss Energy’ and move like I’m on stage, not in my living room.”

Her advice: Don’t worry about how it looks. Focus on how it feels. Let it be joy, not discipline. Your body knows the way back to confidence—if you let it lead.

4. She Uses This 10-Second Mantra Trick

Confidence doesn’t always come from long self-help sessions. Sometimes, it’s born in moments—ten seconds at a time.

“When I feel myself shrinking in a meeting, or doubting myself before a call, I pause and say something like, ‘I belong here.’ Or ‘My voice matters.’ Just once. Just quietly.”

Alina suggests choosing one grounding sentence that resonates with you, and memorizing it like a mental anchor.

Her go-to mantras include:

“I trust myself.”
“I don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.”
“I’ve done hard things before—I can do this too.”
“I am not behind. I am becoming.”

“It’s less about believing it 100% in the moment,” she explains, “and more about interrupting the spiral.”

Over time, those small interruptions become new mental pathways. Confidence becomes the default, not the exception.

5. She Has a “No-Comparison” Rule on Low Days

When her confidence dips, Alina sets one firm boundary with herself: No social media comparison.

“It’s like drinking poison when you’re already weak,” she says. “Those are the days I log off. No scrolling. No peeking.”

Instead, she fills that space with real, human connection—texts with friends, time with her kids, walks in nature, or journaling.

“On strong days, I can appreciate others without losing myself. But on vulnerable days, I protect my energy fiercely.”

She even created a “Do Not Scroll” wallpaper for her phone as a visual reminder.

6. She Does Something She’s Good At

“When I’m doubting my worth, I do something I know I rock at,” she says with a grin.

This could be cooking a signature dish, organizing a space, writing a page, solving a puzzle—anything that brings back a sense of competence.

“It’s not about proving anything to the world,” she says. “It’s about reminding myself of what I’m capable of.”

Confidence, after all, often follows action—not the other way around.

7. She Lets Herself “Not Be Okay”—Without Spiraling

One of the most radical things Alina learned was to let herself feel low without trying to fix it immediately.

“I used to think confidence meant never feeling insecure. Now I know it means not abandoning yourself when you do.”

Sometimes, she cancels non-essential plans. She makes a warm drink. She journals. She allows the sadness or fear or doubt to sit beside her—without judgment.

“I treat myself the way I’d treat a friend: with patience, softness, and no pressure to perform.”

Ironically, this self-permission often leads her back to confidence faster than force ever could.

8. She Remembers Her “Why”

Confidence often falters when we forget what we’re here for.

“When I start shrinking, I ask: What am I really about?”

Alina pulls out a note on her phone that lists her “whys”—her deeper reasons for writing, mentoring, showing up in the world.

Some of her whys:

To show her daughters what self-worth looks like in action
To help women use their voices, even when they shake
To live a life that feels aligned, not just impressive

“When I reconnect with those, my ego quiets down. The self-doubt fades into the background. Because I’m not doing this for validation—I’m doing it for something real.”

9. She Speaks Kindly About Herself—Out Loud

Alina believes that confidence is built in private moments, especially in the way we speak to ourselves.

“I used to say awful things about myself in my head—things I’d never say to another woman,” she admits.

Now, when she feels low, she consciously speaks kind, truthful words—even if they feel awkward at first.

“Sometimes I literally look in the mirror and say, ‘You’re okay. You’re strong. You’re allowed to take up space.’”

This practice, she says, is like weightlifting for self-esteem: “The more you say kind things, the more they start to feel like facts.”

10. She Leaves the House Anyway (Most of the Time)

“When I want to hide, I usually need the opposite,” she says. “I don’t mean fake-smiling through social events. I mean stepping out into the world as I am, without waiting to feel perfect.”

Whether it’s grabbing coffee, going to the library, or taking a walk downtown, Alina has a rule:

Show up—even if you don’t feel ready.

“Confidence isn’t born in isolation,” she says. “It grows when you let the world see you—even on shaky days.”

Final Thoughts: Confidence is a Practice, Not a Personality

Alina wants you to know this: Confidence isn’t a personality trait you’re born with. It’s a practice. A muscle. A relationship.

Some days, it’s strong and radiant. Other days, it’s quiet, shaky, and in need of tenderness.

The key, she says, is to build a life that supports you on both.

“On my best days, confidence feels like a fire. On my low days, it’s a pilot light. But it never fully goes out. I just need to remember how to tend to it.”