Romantic Getaways vs. Realistic Getaways (With Kids in Tow)

There was a time when the words “romantic getaway” conjured images of candlelit dinners, spa massages for two, and long walks on the beach where the only footprints in the sand were yours and your partner’s. But then…you had kids. And now, that romantic getaway looks a little more like cold chicken nuggets on a hotel bed while someone throws a tantrum because the pool doesn’t have a slide.

Welcome to the difference between romantic getaways and realistic getaways with kids in tow — a contrast so stark, it deserves its own travel genre.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Chapter One: The Fantasy — Romantic Getaways

1. The Planning Process

Planning a romantic getaway with your partner is like scripting a movie:

“Let’s go to Tuscany for wine tasting.”
“How about a boutique hotel in Santorini?”
“Maybe a weekend in a cabin with no Wi-Fi and no distractions... just us.”

The only thing you're packing is lingerie, a single shared suitcase, and perhaps a worn copy of a book you'll both pretend to read in front of a fire.

There’s no itinerary. Just vibes, freedom, and the occasional couples massage.

2. The Travel

You arrive at the airport two hours early, breeze through security, and share a glass of overpriced wine while waiting to board. You might even hold hands and talk about “how nice it is to travel light.”

No one cries. No one pees their pants mid-flight. No one needs an iPad to survive the 2-hour flight.

3. The Hotel Experience

Think private balconies, plush robes, mood lighting, and zero signs of Goldfish crackers on the sheets. The hotel has turndown service and maybe even a “Do Not Disturb” sign that actually gets used (and honored).

Room service is romantic. Breakfast in bed is a daily ritual. You sleep in. You nap — together.

4. The Romance

There are lingering glances. Long conversations. Sudden bursts of affection not interrupted by someone yelling “I NEED TO PEE RIGHT NOW!”

You reconnect, you talk about the future, you fall back in love with each other.

It’s all beautiful. Idealistic. Instagram-worthy.

And then… there’s the other kind of getaway.

Chapter Two: The Reality — Getaways With Kids in Tow

1. The Planning Process

Planning a family getaway is not a romantic exercise. It’s an Excel spreadsheet with color-coded tabs. You’re comparing hotel amenities like:

“Do they have a kid’s club?”
“Is there a microwave in the room for the dinosaur nuggets?”
“How far is the nearest urgent care?”

There’s no talk of Santorini. You’re more likely Googling “Best family resorts within driving distance and under $200/night.”

Packing is a logistical feat. There are snacks, spare clothes, sound machines, toys, tablets, chargers, sunscreen, diapers (if applicable), and a partridge in a pear tree.

And don’t forget the backup lovey.

2. The Travel

You leave the house already late and stressed. Someone forgot their shoes. Someone else spilled applesauce in the car seat.

At the airport, it’s chaos. One child is hungry. One is over-stimulated. You can’t remember the last time you both sat next to each other on a flight because someone has to sit next to the kicker.

You arrive exhausted, wrinkled, and already arguing over whether bringing the wagon instead of the stroller was the right call.

3. The Hotel Experience

You booked a suite, but somehow you're all sleeping in the same bed. Or worse, you’re tiptoeing around a room at 7 p.m. in total darkness whispering “Don’t wake them up,” while eating cold takeout over the bathroom sink.

The hotel has a pool — but no towels. The mini fridge freezes the milk. The bathroom fan is the loudest white noise machine you’ve ever heard, but now your toddler won’t sleep without it.

Forget robes and rose petals. You’re lucky if you get to shower alone.

4. The “Romance”

Let’s be honest: romance with kids in tow becomes extremely time-sensitive and location-dependent.

You might steal a moment while they’re watching “Paw Patrol.” You might hold hands across the breakfast table while someone screams about syrup touching their eggs.

You're still connecting — just not in the slow, sensual way you imagined. It’s more like:
“Did you pack the Tylenol?”
“Yes, I love you. Did you pack the wipes?”

The romance is still there — it’s just in survival mode.

Chapter Three: Comparing the Two (Side-by-Side)

Aspect	Romantic Getaway	Realistic Getaway w/ Kids
Packing	One small suitcase + perfume	Four bags, snacks, diapers, medicine kit, iPads
Travel	Smooth, quiet, maybe a nap	Loud, chaotic, someone always has to poop
Meals	Tasting menus, wine pairings	Chicken tenders and juice boxes
Accommodations	King bed, jacuzzi, mood lighting	Two double beds, white noise apps, blackout curtains
Romance	Fireplaces, massages, moonlit walks	A wink from across the playground if you’re lucky
Sleep	8+ hours, uninterrupted	5 hours, interrupted by night terrors and bathroom trips
Daily Activities	Spa, hiking, reading, wine tasting	Mini golf, playgrounds, chasing toddlers
Conversations	Deep talks about dreams and future plans	“Do you think she pooped?” / “Don’t eat that!”

Chapter Four: Why We Do It Anyway

So if the “realistic” getaway is so exhausting, why do we do it?

Because beneath the messiness, there’s something beautiful happening. You’re making memories. You’re showing your kids the world — even if it’s just the hotel lobby and the beach 30 feet from your room.

There are belly laughs in the pool, impromptu dance parties in the hotel room, and sticky fingers wrapped around your neck during nap time.

You and your partner learn to be a team in new ways. Maybe it’s not sexy. Maybe it’s not “romantic.” But it’s real. And real love — the kind that changes diapers, carries snack bags, and still finds a moment to kiss in the elevator — is just as powerful as a candlelit dinner.

Chapter Five: Can You Have Both?

Actually…yes. But it requires intentionality.

Here’s how to bring a little romance back into your realistic family getaways:

1. Set Expectations

Talk about what the trip is for. If it’s a family adventure, let it be that. If you’re craving connection, try to carve out time — even just 15 minutes at night after the kids are asleep — to reconnect.

2. Enlist Help

Bring the grandparents. Book a resort with a kids’ club. Hire a babysitter for one night out. It’s not cheating — it’s survival. And yes, it can be done safely and responsibly.

3. Find Romance in the Chaos

Romance doesn’t have to be grand. It can be:

Sharing a coffee in silence while the kids nap.
Watching the sunset together from the balcony.
Laughing at the absurdity of parenting moments.
Holding hands while walking to breakfast.

4. Plan a Future Trip — Just the Two of You

It may not happen this year. Or next. But put it on the calendar. Book the babysitter now, even if it’s two years away. Having something to look forward to helps remind you that your relationship still matters — even beyond the role of co-parent.