Beauty Hacks from Someone Who Can’t Even Hack It

Let’s get one thing straight: I am not a beauty guru. I’m not “that girl.” I don’t wake up at 5 a.m. to meditate before doing a 10-step skincare routine with products I can’t pronounce. I’ve never mastered contouring, I still don’t fully understand the difference between BB cream and CC cream, and on most days, my hair is in what I generously call a “stress bun.”

This article? It’s not your typical roundup of professional-level beauty advice. It’s not from a glow-up goddess or skincare savant. It’s from someone who’s winging it most days, holding on by a bobby pin and some dry shampoo.

So, if you’re someone who wants to feel a little bit cuter without devoting your life to a Sephora career or a 3-hour mirror session, welcome. These are beauty hacks from someone who can’t even hack it—and yet somehow still manages to look mildly presentable. Sometimes.

Let’s get into it.

1. Dry Shampoo Is Basically a Personality Trait

If I had a dollar for every time dry shampoo saved me from looking like a sleep-deprived raccoon, I could afford a salon blowout. Listen, if you’re not washing your hair daily (because... life), dry shampoo is your best friend.

Hack:

Spray it in before bed, not just in the morning. This gives it time to absorb oil overnight and makes your hair feel fresher in the morning—like you actually planned your life.

Bonus Tip: Massage it in with a brush or your fingers, then blast your roots with a hairdryer for 30 seconds. Volume = restored.

2. Multipurpose Products Are the MVPs

I am too tired, broke, and disorganized to keep track of 20 different makeup products. If it can’t do double duty, I don’t want it.

Hack:

Use your lipstick as blush. Dot it on your cheeks and blend it out with your fingers. Same goes for cream eyeshadows—they can work as highlighter, liner, or blush depending on the shade.

Real-life winner: A tinted lip balm that also works on cheeks. It’s foolproof, fast, and takes up zero space in your bag.

3. Skincare Minimalism = Sanity

I tried the 10-step Korean skincare routine. Once. It lasted 36 hours. I salute the queens who commit, but I’m here to make a case for low-maintenance skincare.

Hack:

Stick to three basics: cleanser, moisturizer, and SPF. Everything else is optional. That’s it. That’s the whole hack.

Lazy-person bonus: Micellar water + cotton pad when you’re too tired to wash your face. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than sleeping in your foundation.

4. The Messy Bun is a Lifestyle, Not a Mistake

People like to act like the “effortless messy bun” is easy. Lies. It takes a specific balance of hair texture, elastic tightness, and pure desperation.

Hack:

Flip your head upside down, gather your hair, and don’t overthink it. Let some strands fall out. Embrace the chaos.

Add earrings and bam, you’re now "casually chic" instead of "exhausted and running late."

5. Nail Polish? Who Has Time?

I’ve never successfully painted my nails without smudging them five minutes later. But chipped polish looks like I lost a fight with a blender, and bare nails can sometimes feel... meh.

Hack:

Press-on nails are back and better than ever. The new generation actually stays on, looks pro-level, and takes less than 10 minutes. No commitment, no waiting for drying, and they pop off without destroying your nail bed.

Or just keep nails clean and shaped, and use a clear coat or buffer for a natural “I’m a responsible adult” look.

6. Brow Gels Are Magic

I can’t fill in my eyebrows without looking like a villain from a cartoon. Brow pencils are too precise, powders too messy. Enter: tinted brow gel.

Hack:

Swipe it through your brows in short upward strokes. It fills, shapes, and sets in one motion. No artistry required.

Even better: If you really want to cheat, get a tinted one with fibers to add volume and trick everyone into thinking you were born with Cara Delevingne brows.

7. Eyelash Curlers: The Unsung Hero

If there’s one tool I swear by, it’s the eyelash curler. Even when I have no other makeup on, curling my lashes makes me feel 30% more awake.

Hack:

Warm it up with your blow dryer for 5 seconds before use (check it’s not too hot!). The curl lasts longer and gives you that wide-eyed “I definitely slept last night” illusion.

Pair with mascara, and boom—your eyes are alive even if your soul is tired.

8. Tinted Moisturizer Is All You Need

Foundation? Too heavy. BB cream? Confusing. Full-coverage anything? Not in this climate. For everyday life, a good tinted moisturizer (or skin tint) will even your tone without feeling like a mask.

Hack:

Mix a few drops of your regular foundation with moisturizer if you’re on a budget. Instant DIY skin tint.

Optional add-on: Dab a little concealer under your eyes or on blemishes. Set with a light powder if you're oily, and you’re done.

9. Hydration > Highlighter

People always rave about highlighter, but if your skin is dehydrated, no powder in the world can make you look glowy. You’ll just look shiny in the wrong places.

Hack:

Use a hydrating serum or facial oil under makeup for real glow. Bonus: Facial mist during the day to revive dry or dull skin (or your spirit).

Procrastinator’s Trick: Keep a tiny mist bottle in your bag or by your desk. One spritz = “I got my life together” energy, even if you're dying inside.

10. Sleep Is the Ultimate Hack (But Let’s Be Real)

Yes, we all know sleep is the best beauty tip. But what if you, like me, are chronically underslept and overstimulated?

Hack:

Fake it. Ice roller on the face. Cold spoons on puffy eyes. White eyeliner on your waterline. Bright blush to bring life back. Hydrate like your life depends on it.

And sunglasses. Big ones. Always. No one has to know what’s going on under there.

11. The “Clean Girl” Look Is Mostly Just Clean-ish

The trending minimalist beauty look is basically hydrated skin, brushed brows, a little blush, and slicked-back hair. The irony? It’s harder than it looks if you’re not already glowing with natural beauty.

Hack:

Use a tinted balm on cheeks and lips, gel your brows, and slick your hair back with a little leave-in conditioner or gel.

Optional deception: Hoop earrings and tinted sunglasses = instant polish. Who needs effort when you have accessories?

12. Own Your Chaos

Here’s the biggest hack I’ve learned: looking good is 30% products, 70% confidence. People aren’t inspecting you as much as you think. If you look like you meant to do something—like that smudged eyeliner is a “smoky eye” and not just poor coordination—chances are people will believe you.

Confidence sells the look more than any concealer ever could.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Low-Effort Glow

If you’ve ever read a beauty article and felt personally attacked by the idea of using five serums, baking your face, or applying fake lashes before 8 a.m., this one’s for you.

Looking good (or even just not exhausted) doesn’t have to be complicated. Most of us aren’t trying to be models. We just want to feel a little more human in the chaos of daily life. And if all else fails? A hoodie, messy bun, tinted lip balm, and good lighting can go a long way.